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The Widow Cameron

by The Widow Cameron

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    160 gram double vinyl LP of the new 12-song album The Widow Cameron. Includes DL code, lyric sheet, and poetry broadside. Artwork by Andy Whorehall. Limited quantity available.
    ℗ Post-Important 2022

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Widow Cameron via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 14 The Widow Cameron releases available on Bandcamp and save 40%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Widow Cameron, Somebody's Talking, Attention, The Mirror, Horse Race, Canyonlands b/w godspeedyoudaredevil, Gallows Etiquette, Is A Beast, and 6 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $57.26 USD or more (40% OFF)

     

1.
The Mirror 03:53
The Mirror Oh no no I’m underhanded In my old age start drinking brandy What I have to do I have to do, couldn’t be clearer And if you know me still, you know I couldn’t kill The mirror Hey, I’ve been working so late at the door of a bar Listening to Robyn and watching you dance What you have to do you have to do, couldn’t be clearer And if you love me still, I’ll know you couldn’t kill The mirror Oh the mirror Hell ya know I’ll live a thousand lives anyway Help me kill the first person in everything I say There’s a love inside my empire of fear I’m timing myself, I’m timing myself in the mirror Now I’m acid free, I put the heart down (What’s this thing doing here?) My hundred-page sketchbook weighs sixty-five pounds When I call to you I call to you, my voice is so weird And if you answer still, I’ll know we couldn’t kill The mirror Oh the mirror © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
2.
Horse Race 05:14
Horse Race My lover is a horse race I’m betting six-to-one On the rider who won’t place I know she’s the one My lover is a sunny day My lover is a coal mine The canaries of your heart Fly right next to mine And when I see your face I think I know you and all In the middle of the day I think I love you and oh My heart is full of weeds oh no My heart is full of beer oh no My heart is full of all the wrong girls All the wrong fears Darling if I let you, could you take it from here Take it or take it from here My very own memories are junk In my dreams I’m fun and carefree In real life I’m a scarecrow American man The murder’s coming for me And when I see your face Don’t think I know you at all In the middle of the day I think I love you and oh My heart is full of weeds oh no My heart is full of beer oh no My heart is full of all the wrong girls All the wrong fears Darling if I let you, could you take it from here Take it or take it from here I’m on your side Both your hands both your coasts Holy mother holy ghost Hallelujah shot right through ya I don’t ever wanna lose ya Take it or take it from here © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
3.
Somebody’s Talking Somebody’s talking when I talk, shut up Somebody’s walking where I walk, that strut Somebody’s scaring away all the people I love Somebody’s saying it’s okay Cam, get up Here’s a love that heals the anger Everything I made was dangerous Here’s a love that feels like anger All the things I made weren’t strange enough Somebody’s talking when I talk, shut up Somebody’s waking where I wake, get up Somebody’s telling the world is wrong my mind at night Somebody’s gonna be okay, alright Here’s a love that heals the anger Everything I made was dangerous Here’s a love that feels like anger All the things I made weren’t strange enough And I know I’m never gonna make it right And I know I’m never gonna make it real love Somebody’s talking when I talk, shut up Somebody’s walking where I walk, that strut Somebody’s telling me how much a mind can stand Somebody must be the same rumor I am Here’s a love that heals the anger Everything I made was dangerous Here’s a love that feels like anger All the things I made weren’t strange enough And I know I’m never gonna make it right And I know I’m never gonna make it real love   © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
4.
To Be Real Anymore I got so many things to tell ya, I can’t remember them all My soul is a sticker on a greenroom wall A plastic bag in a tree getting filled With shit from a mythological bird that’s been killed A bird that’s been killed The heart is what a dominatrix can’t beat anymore The heart is what a dominatrix can’t beat anymore Hell I always thought I had a perfect dream Hell I always thought I had a perfect scream A perfect scream It’s not my job, it’s not my chore, it’s not my fate It’s not my job, and it’s not my chore It’s not my fate to be real anymore People steal poems now, tattoo ’em on their arms I got into this business thinking no money no harm But it always finds a way to scar People thinking fame is where the ideas are The ideas are It’s not my job, it’s not my chore, it’s not my fate It’s not my job, and it’s not my chore It’s not my fate to be real anymore And it’s got to be us, it’s got to be only us Humankind erupts and reality Is when we can’t escape it It’s not my job, it’s not my chore, it’s not my fate baby It’s not my job, and it’s not my chore It’s not my fate to be real anymore   © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
5.
My Better Half My better half waits for me on the street My better half waits for me in her sleep My better half waits for me in a dream Then my better half tells me what it means My better half she don’t pray for me My better half she still holy My better half she gonna give me her share But my better half better beware She says my name even though it’s in vain Oh you’re still my better half babe My better half she’s always on time My better half waits for me to decide My better half knows where my heart is at And my better half knows better than that She’ll say you’re true even though she knows you Haven’t been the better half My better half she a teacher My better half she a crazy woman My better half is a central defender And my better half better remember I blew apart the life that we had So I could get at the better half I blew apart the life that we had So I’d get the better half © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
6.
Control 05:23
Control Don’t die like a brain, forgetting everything Die more like a fire, warm quiet desire The clamor of the world is an exercise of Control Just let it go Control oh no Don’t make your life a puzzle, you’re bound to lose a piece Make it more like the front range, easy to see The clamor of love is an exercise of Control So let it go, just let it go Control oh no There’s a world you don’t belong in Oh then there’s the real world Oh and it ain’t gone kid Put your shoes on, step into it Don’t make like a fool, thinking no one understands you You ain’t special, you’re just human There’s billions of ’em The clamor of loss has always been an exercise in cost Control Just let it go, just let her go Control oh no. Control Oh control © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
7.
Bloodshot Eyes Long does the hustle wanna take my name Gotta high threshold for psychic pain But you ain’t my baby now No, you ain’t my baby now I’m an everyman in sweat and crisis Anger is the new inflation, ah Christ But you ain’t my baby now No, you ain’t my baby now Could it be you loved me for myself? I’m a swearword for the pain I caused ya honey There’s at least two Cameron’s until there ain’t any And you ain’t my baby now No, you ain’t my baby now Could it be you loved me for myself? Put a pillow under bloodshot eyes Oh I put a pillow under bloodshot eyes Oh I put a pillow under bloodshot eyes Tonight put a pillow under bloodshot (Put a pillow under my blood) They say blood is thicker than water What is thicker a son or a daughter? But you ain’t my baby now No, you ain’t my baby now Could it be you loved me for myself? Put a pillow under bloodshot eyes Oh I put a pillow under bloodshot eyes Oh I put a pillow under bloodshot eyes Tonight, put a pillow under bloodshot eyes (Put a pillow under my blood) © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
8.
Concubines 04:46
Concubines I am a hooker for real love I’m in trouble now, don’t know who to fight You say that I’m selling Van Gogh’s Oh and just like Lowell, My mind’s not right Maybe I’ll listen to your mouth, but I won’t believe it I’m your concubine (won’t you bring me my) You say bring me my Concubines (won’t you bring me my) Bring me my Love is a division of labor I see your face everywhere, everywhere I fear it So begins my life with these strangers I changed my name to yours so I’d still hear it Maybe I’ll listen to your mouth, but I won’t believe it I’m your concubine (won’t you bring me my) You say bring me my Concubines (won’t you bring me my) Bring me my concubines I don’t know why, or what I want from You / don’t know why, or what I want from You / don’t know why, or what I want from you I’m your concubine (won’t you bring me my) You say bring me my Concubines (won’t you bring me my) You say bring me my Concubines (won’t you bring me my) You say bring me my © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
9.
Breaking All The Love I Have I’m not religious man, but I’ve gotta soul If God were this beer, I’d drink him whole And the gospel choir’s not enough anymore No, the gospel choir’s not enough anymore My baby bought me these little worry dolls I put ’em under my pillow when the worry calls It calls to me now, I’ve occasion to say I blew up my life just to see it that way And I’m breaking all the love I have I’m breaking all the love I have for you Oh holy moly it’s disconcerting We drove the famine walk my feet are hurtin’ And the birds and blue sky and the sun are up good And the birds and blue sky and the sun are up good This is the slow war of happiness The deeper part of life is in your stomach And I don’t know why I’m conditioned that way I don’t know why I’m conditioned that way To be breaking all the love I have Breaking all the love I have for you Oh everything I love is Not everything I love I’ve been someone I just couldn’t like Being scared of everyone’s an innovation of mine Breaking all the love I have Breaking all the love I have I’m breaking all the love I have for you © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
10.
First Penny Of My Empire I almost never think of you Oh it’s all I used to do They say worry makes the man But I don’t think that’s what I am I moved away from everyone Thought I’d make solitude count And no one wrote to me or called So that is what I wrote about Our love was something Easy money or hard wisdom Your strange devotion All the ages and ages unknown You’re the first penny of my empire My life philosophy is tough Cause all I wanna do is work But I was never mean enough For this business not to hurt Our love was something Easy money or hard wisdom Your strange devotion All the ages and ages unknown Our love was something Our love was something good Our love was something Easy money or hard wisdom Your strange devotion All the ages and ages unknown Our love was something Our love was something good You’re the first penny of my empire © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
11.
Attention 05:19
Attention I don’t wanna pay attention to the news anymore Even though I’m versatile and resistant I don’t wanna pay attention to the lies anymore The world over’s a History Channel war I don’t wanna pay attention to the money anymore If businesses are people, what am I for? I need to find the stairs and climb in the door Through my solitude to sanity and more I don’t wanna fall asleep or sleep anymore My dreams are graveyards of sharp shadows I don’t wanna like anything anymore Your need making shame of my desires I don’t wanna be a citizen anymore Where my eyes become dry media I don’t wanna be a citizen anymore Where my eyes become dry media Now I know that it’s true that I never loved you   © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022
12.
I’m Gonna Blow Up I may be broke, it’s just a little bruising Maybe I’m lost, it’s just a little losing However the cost may be accumulated There are not drugs for how from me you faded I may be sad, but it’s the pilot light of happy Maybe I’ve been had, or I’m just somebody’s having However the cost may be over-inflated There are not drugs for how from me you faded Away, in the mines of memory I’ll ask you if you’re coming with me I’m feeding on a firefly, firefly’s lungs And I’m gonna blow up Maybe I lied, it’s just a little lying Maybe I came, it’s just a little dying However the cost may be frustrated There are not drugs for how from me you faded Away, in the mines of memory I’ll ask you if you’re coming with me I’m feeding on a firefly, firefly’s lungs And I’m gonna blow up I’m feeding on a firefly, firefly’s lungs And I’m gonna blow up © Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI) ℗ Post-Important 2022

about

Before I left Chicago in 2015 to attend graduate school in poetry at the University of Idaho, I demoed out thirty-five songs with my friends and collaborators Charles Koltak and Rodrigo Palma. Knowing the songs wouldn't be recorded for several years, I wanted a record of where they'd begun as well as a way to gauge which of them would still speak to me in the subsequent years. Once our friend Daniel Johnson agreed to produce the album, he chose his favorite twenty songs, and from there it was narrowed to the twelve which appear on The Widow Cameron. We began pre-production in late 2018 and tracked basics for the album over four days in July '19. I sang vocals in August of '20. Daniel, working from his studio, added instrumentation and production mid '20-early '21. The album was mixed by Scott Gatteno in the second half of '21 and mastered by Justin Perkins at Mystery Room in early '22. Needless to say, we're excited for you to hear the album. Thank you, as always, for following along.


love.
cameron.

...

The Widow Cameron is the new project and seventh album from poet and songwriter Cameron McGill, and his first since 2013’s Gallows Etiquette. Produced by Daniel Johnson (Judah Johnson/Patois) and engineered by Neil Strauch (Iron & Wine, Bonnie Prince Billy, Andrew Bird, Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s), the album was recorded at Chicago’s Shirk Studios and features bassist Rodrigo Palma and drummer Charles Koltak. McGill is the author of two poetry collections: Meridians (Willow Springs Books) and In the Night Field (Augury Books/Brooklyn Arts Press). He lives in Moscow, Idaho.

credits

released October 4, 2022

Produced by Daniel Johnson
Recorded & Engineered by Neil Strauch and Stephen Shirk @ Shirk Studios, Chicago
Mixed by Scott Gatteno
Mastered by Justin Perkins @ Mystery Room
Band: Cameron McGill (vocals/keys/guitar), Rodrigo Palma (bass), Charles Koltak (drums), Daniel Johnson (guitars, synth, string arrangement)

All songs (c) Cameron McGill, Nervous Breakdown Ditties (BMI)
℗ Post-Important 2022

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The Widow Cameron Moscow, Idaho

Cameron McGill is a songwriter currently living in Moscow, ID. For nearly two decades, he has quietly carved out a place for his unsettling and darkly romantic songs. His most recent album is 2013's Gallows Etiquette. He was a member of Margot & The Nuclear So and So’s from 2009-2014. He has released two poetry collections: Meridians (Willow Springs Books) & In the Night Field (Augury Books). ... more

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